Why self(ish) love should be embraced this month (and every month).

Love is in the air, and you may have noticed that North America has been adorned with red hearts, boxes of chocolate and sappy love letters, but what about the love that actually matters? This February I am going to do my best to stay far away from the false perception of "love" that Valentines Day  promotes, and stick to a more intimate exploration...

I'm taking Self Love, people! 

I LOVE getting together with friends, as they always spark a new conversation inside of my head. Today's blog post manifested from a place of selfishness.  I have decided I DESERVE to be more selfish in life; and not in a greedy, "my way or the highway" way, just selfish of what I deserve, for my own happiness. 

Guess What? You deserve to be selfish too...

especially when it comes to self love. We are the hardest and most abusive to ourselves, yet we also have a habit of blaming others for our own unhappiness and insecurity. So what if instead of self inflicted pain and blame we took 2 simple steps.

1. We treated ourselves to the love we deserve. Being selfish and taking time, money, food, treats and adventures for ourself. 

2. We Quit blaming others for being "selfish". Only our decisions can affect us, so if someone in our lives is being "selfish", remember they are also making a choice for themselves. 

Here are my top 5 ways to selfish love 

1. Take the "self love" 28 day challenge:

Spend the next 28 days putting yourself first. You may be thinking "hold on...I have kids to feed, a husband to love and a dog to walk", but guess what, you can't do ANY of this to its full potential if you are not taking care of yourself first and foremost. YOU DESERVE to lock the bathroom door and have a bubble bath. The kids will play and forget, your husband will comment on how great you smell, and the dog will eventually get outside. 

Challenge: At the beginning or end of your day ask yourself "How can I put myself first today to better serve others?" 

2. Throw out the wooden spoon...its 2016 for goodness sake. 

Try not to be so dang hard on yourself, and stop kicking yourself in the ass. We constantly compare ourselves to others. Our success, our bodies, even our Instagram pages. We put ourselves down before even congratulating ourselves on the greatness that we truly are. 

Challenge: Focus on YOUR body, YOUR success, YOUR partner or YOUR job. Do your very best not to let other lives make you feel bad about your own. Maybe this means getting off Social Media or putting the horse blinders on. Whatever it is you do, you will notice a huge increase in your happiness. 

3. Indulge

This may be one of the seemingly easiest steps, however, many of us have guilts that go hand in hand with indulging. You may have guilt around indulging in food, sugar, time off, your partner and create thoughts like "I am lazy", "I eat to much crap", "I should not indulge so I can lose weight" "I shouldn't spend so much time with my partner because I want to be more independent" however these negative thoughts will only dig your self blame hole deeper and deeper. 

Challenge: If negative thoughts come up about indulging, sit a little deeper with it. Find out why there is guilt. You may need to re evaluate what you are indulging in. Love to treat yourself to a McFlurry? Why not pick up a bar of Dark Chocolate instead, and eat half the bar. Feeling lazy and want to check out on Netflix? Why not choose a show that will stimulate your thoughts. 

4. Simply take the time

This step is quite simple. Take time for yourself. Wake up an hour earlier, take a longer lunch break, schedule time for a pedicure, call in sick. Time is precious, we don't have a whole lot of it, and you never know when the clock will stop ticking. So do yourself a favour and spend your time doing what makes you feel good. 

Challenge: Plan an extra 30 minutes to 1 hour a day to try something new, get something done you have been meaning to do, see an old friend or just read a book. 

5. Get glam

Slap on some lipgloss, create an extra smokey eye or buy a sexy new dress. Looking good can mean feeling good. By spending some extra time to get ready, or plan out an outfit, you could be fuelling yourself with what you need to put a little hop back in your step. 

Challenge: Add something sassy to your makeup collection. My personal favorite is RIGHT HERE