I almost gave up on my business, so I let sadness take over.
I was hesitant to write this blog because lets admit it, everyone who is blogging this week is talking about: A New Year, A New You, Detoxification, Change, Growth and everything YOU can do to reach your goals, keep your resolutions and even lose those 10 pounds you packed on this holiday season (yes...it's a freaking season...)
After looking back on this post (as I edit) I realize this has nothing much to do with A New Year, or A New Me...I am not even going to talk about what you should do, how you should change or how to lose weight, but I secretly hope this inspires you to be sad.
Let me begin with a sad story.
I almost gave up on my business...two days before the New Year Began. I couldn't even wait for that faithful day on the first of the new year for a new page, a new opportunity, a breath of fresh air. I had made up my mind. I was done.
When I say give up, I really mean it. Maybe even pack up, move away to a foreign country and ditch my business, my friends, family and my life in Vancouver. I was feeling like a failure, like I didn't love what I was trying to create...it felt too hard, and I didn't have it in me to go on. Life would be so much easier waking up on the beach and spending a few dollars a night on a hostel, rather than working my ass off to pay rent in a big city.
I cried a lot. It felt right to quit, but I didn't know what else I was good at...I didn't know what I wanted to do, so I called a friend. I sat with him and cried more. We talked, I cried, and he listened. Not only did he listen, he made it clear that it was ok to be sad, to cry and to move on.
Now here I am a few days later writing on my Beauty Reawakened Blog.
I didn't start meditating, juicing, exercising, detoxing or using an online tool to realize that this was my path for now and that Beauty Reawakened IS my passion. It didn't take a "New Year" to inspire me to get off my ass and get going.
No. I didn't make any drastic "New Year" changes or resolutions to know I was meant to do this, right now.
I let myself be sad, and instead of feel bad about it like I normally do, I felt uncomfortably comforted.
Instead of being afraid of my sadness and allowing it to make me feel like a failure, I embraced the feeling then let it pass. I let sadness TAKEOVER. Nothing extraordinary happened when I did this, no divine messages or signs from above. Just knowing that sadness is ok was enough.
Maybe I am supposed to run Beauty Reawakened for the rest of my life, maybe I am supposed to be doing something completely different. I don't know. What I do know now is that business can be hard, life can be hard and if I continue to fight that trying to be happy all the time I cannot grow, I cannot always reach my goals and I cannot make decisions that have been fully contemplated by all of my feelings, equally.
My advice to you. Allow yourself to be sad, allow others to experience you being sad, don't let sadness make you jump to conclusions or instant solutions.
Feel it, Wait, and let it Pass. Sadness will eventually show you things you never knew were there.